What can transpire in the course of a year is nothing less than incredible. January 2020 I was standing at the base of the Eiffel Tower. Numb from the accumulation of years that had chiseled away at who I thought I was. As I glanced around at the crowd, I wondered what each of their lives might look like. What stories they may have swirling around in the depths of who they really are? I curiously watched an Asian family gathering in the queue. They were each donning a mask, protecting them from the immediate environment. COVID-19 was unknown to us at that moment, so this practice seemed a bit odd to me. I thought, "What a strange world we would live in if that were the norm?". The irony behind my observations and the pictures I took that day, would not come to light for me until almost one year later.
Standing at the base and looking up, one could not see the structure in its entirety. The fog gave a mysterious and obscured view of what existed on the other side. I knew for certain that there was more to this building than the weather was permitting me to observe with my eyes. In reflection, I am in awe of the foreshadowing that was taking place at that moment. How were any of us to know that we would be blindly walking into what would become one of the most life altering global events of our time? One where masks would be the norm and the law. And me, how was I to know that this would be the year that I broke through the dark clouds and thick barriers that had been holding me hostage for so long. My life moving forward, and the lives of every human on this planet, in that moment were for me represented in the knowing that there was more to the Eiffel Tower, but not able to comprehend what that more looked like until I/we journeyed through the thick clouds and witnessed it for myself/ourselves.
As I toured the magnificent structure that day, I reveled in its history and the efforts that it took to create and erect such a monumental piece of architecture. At the time of its resurrection, the controversy and division that ignited as the result of its completion is very much symbolic of the unrest that exists today. Ironically, it was being created to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the French Revolution and yet there was a divide as to how the tower was perceived by many in Europe. Was it an atrocity or art? Was it a waste of money and space or a necessary contribution to society? The beauty and significance of this symbolic structure was in the eye and the imagination of the creator. It would eventually prove its importance too in the eyes of the world. But that would not take place for many years. And, not without the persistence of someone who knew its potential. Politics versus the people. Somehow there seems to be a separation when these two entities are thrown together in the recipe of life. How sad, and yet at the same time, seemingly necessary for our evolution. As a collective I can see the division in my country and that of our American neighbours. The power of politics and misuse of or lack of shared vision creates the unrest, mistrust and uncertainty that we are witness to time and time again. This is not a new phenomenon; it has been well recorded and repeated throughout history. But, if left unchecked will certainly continue to cultivate anxiety, anger, fear, doubt and division between us. Perhaps we all need to exercise some faith and learn to listen with open ears. Learn to see with open eyes. Learn to find compromise and communicate from a place of love rather than ego. In my own life I have allowed the influence of others to skew my perception. Believing more in what others had to say and trying to live up to what I thought their standards were. What ever that may have looked like. How exhausting to try and wear so many masks and hats. How confusing. But there were also times in my life when I did have a voice. However, my efforts would be observed as defiant or rebellious and uncharacteristic to my patterns of people pleasing. This division in myself would become the very thing that would combust and break me into a million pieces. Anxiety would come calling and pretend to be my friend. Depression would move in and unpack its unwanted bags. I became an empty vessel for what ever filled me. We are born perfectly who we were meant to be and then society and its standards feed us this toxic soup that poisons our perceptions along the way and forces us to see life through different lenses. I am not saying there is anything wrong with being able change lenses to see what others see. In fact, I would encourage it. I am saying that it's important to observe from a place of curiosity and not to feel less than or insignificant if you do not share the same views as others. It's important to honour your beliefs and to know who you are, where you came from, and where you are going. To believe that you are significant. If we don`t know what or who that is then we are at the mercy of losing those beautiful and unique gifts, that only you can bring to the world.
Back in the day before its completion the project was met with enormous criticism and nay saying. It was slated for demolition and could have permanently been disassembled had it not been for the greater vision and persistence of the master designer himself. In 1889, Gustave Eiffel had been faced with incredible adversity, despite his earning such prestige and accolades for his many renowned creations. After the financial scandal associated with the locks of the Panama Canal, Mr. Eiffel walked away from his former profession. It is said that he struggled with intense embarrassment and humiliation as the result of the scandal, which later he would be pardoned from. He regrouped and redirected his energies into reinventing himself and the tower. He would create a practical purpose for the tower, despite it having been the center of such controversy for so many years. I believe that Mr. Eiffel's passion for living a life of purpose and honouring who he knew he was, freed him from his demons. It was during that time that he created many historical and important contributions in radio, communications, meteorology and aerodynamics. I have so much empathy and admiration for this man! In his struggles I can see glimpses of my own life, visual metaphors. Eiffel held onto a vision, he picked himself up and carried on. He chose not to believe in the harsh words of others and instead held fast to a life of purpose. His purpose was the accumulation of gifts unique to him. Those gifts were shared with others and found an important place in our history. What gifts are yours to share? We are a collection of millions of magnificent and unique creations. Behind us are those whose lives, like that of Mr. Eiffel have helped to form the world we live in today. Ahead of us are those who will look back on the gifts and the lessons we are cultivating. It requires challenging and defying the negative forces of this world. The nay-sayers and the finger pointers and the hypocrites. Letting go of ego and embracing the possibility that we can make a difference in the lives of others just by being exactly who we were born to be. Do people make mistakes? Of course, we do. And, some more serious than others. What makes us human is the ability to learn from and grow from our adversity. What makes us Divine is the ability to forgive.
2020 was a year of uncertainty. We could not have predicted what we were facing. Individually and as a collective we have had to walk through the invisible forces that presented themselves to us. Unsure what lay on the other side but knowing there will be something. Personally, for me, it was the exercise of moving beyond what was known to me, onto a platform which challenged my personal growth. Stepping into the "fog of the unknown" and allowing my vulnerability, my life lessons, to be exposed. Learning to have faith in who I am and realize that perhaps my purpose in life is unfolding just as it is meant to. Could I consider that my story could be a beacon of light through the fog for myself and others? Is it my unique gift? Yes, I think so.
As for the effects of this pandemic? I am sure that we will never see life exactly as we once did. Life has changed all around us. There is a shift in our collective consciousness. With this shift comes the knowledge that adversity is our teacher. We can not rise above something if there is nothing to rise above. We can not grow if we know no challenge. We can not evolve if we are not forced to go beyond our egos and find that place within that is the common thread to everything that exists. There will be light on the other side of this metaphorical fog. We just must, as my incredibly wise grandmother would tell me time and time again, ``have a little faith``.
